An important theme arising out of the MSCP’s recent Baby Grace review was around the confidence of practitioners to have difficult conversations. However, having difficult conversations is a really important part of our work and we want to encourage all practitioners to consider how they approach these difficult conversations, whether with families, colleagues or wider networks.
Maureen Bailey, Founder and CEO of Inner Strength Network, has been supporting the MSCP in considering this important topic and delivered a session at our last Full Partnership meeting. Since then she has also been working with health partners to further embed learning in this area in response to the Baby Grace findings, with accredited programmes for health professionals coming soon. Here Maureen shares her top tips for having difficult conversations – we hope you find it useful:-
Mark has been performing poorly for the last 8 months. You are a relatively new manager,
and you need to speak to Mark about his performance and the impact of this on the team.
In the past, when previous managers have raised these issues with him, he has made
allegations of bullying and taken time off because of stress.
How do you have this conversation without being accused of being a bully?
You need to have a difficult conversation.
A difficult conversation is
Reasons why we find it difficult includes.:
Harvard Business Review defines a difficult conversation as:
Types of subjects which may make us feel awkward include.
Difficult conversations involve a range of fears. According to authors Henry Cloud and John
Townsend, people fear the following things:
PLAN: If you plan what you are going to say it will help with delivery. In planning your
conversation, think about the other person’s feelings and points of view. Imagine you will
respond and what would be helpful.
PLACE: Be in a place without interruptions it will work out better
PACE: If you appear in a rush or treat it casually it will not be received well
Part of the challenge with difficult conversations is the framing of these interactions as
‘difficult’. This immediately raises barriers. At the Inner Strength Network, we reframe
these conversations as courageous conversations.
Some Key Behaviours
by Maureen Bailey LLB (HONS) Trainer
* Harvard Business Review Press (2016), Difficult Conversations Craft a clear message: Manage emotions, Focus on a solution, Harvard Business School Publishing Corporation
** Henry Cloud and John Townsend (2003) How to Have That Difficult Conversation Copyright, Zondervan,
*** Brené Brown, (2007) I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame, Gotham Books